Say It If You Mean It
I try to live by the book written by Don Miguel Ruiz some years ago. This little book called The Four Agreements, is a very simple guide to living life right and to personal freedom. It became my bible because if you live by those four simple rules (yet not simple to do)…your life will change… and more importantly, you will live your life (not someone else’s) and you will live it right.
Many times I’ve heard comments like, “I wish I could live like you do”… or “I wish I could switch brains with you…”. What they may not realize is that it has taken work to get to where I am in my life now. It didn’t happen overnight. It meant a lot of very hard personal and spiritual work.
It is interesting and telling that the Agreement #1 in this special book is “Be impeccable with your Word”. It simply says that the words you utter are important. They should be true. Never use your words to put yourself down (this is extremely important) or to gossip about someone else; and always mean what you say. This last is key. It also eliminates lies.
How many times have you held back what you want to say? I know I have many times. It is scary to show and speak our feelings. It puts us in a very vulnerable position and we don’t like it.
The fear is that we will be rejected or not corresponded. There’s also sometimes an underlaying mistrust that makes us feel that if we open ourselves to someone else, we will be taken advantage of or worse…taken for granted. However, I have learned that when I speak the truth, no matter what it is, everything falls in place.
I was in a marriage for many many years in which neither of us ever spoke about feelings. Oh, every so often in a birthday card, which was hopefully pre-printed, we would convey our finer feelings to each other. But that is not the same. I think it’s a cop out of sorts. An easy way to say what you cannot really say. Well, lesson learned; which is the only thing that the past is good for in any case.
“I love you”; those three small but extremely impacting words have the power to change everything. Once you utter those little words… you feel it beginning to change everything for you and for the recipient. So do demeaning words… probably even more so.
I now speak my truth always. Like it or not. I never ever promise and not follow through. I don’t worry about being taken for granted because I know that they are only fooling themselves. It’s enough that I know it. Therefore, I speak fearlessly and let the chips fall with the knowledge that somehow they will land exactly where they are supposed to. Without fail.
Just say it.