Just Say It
I try to live by the book written by Don Miguel Ruiz some years ago. This little book called The Four Agreements, is a very simple guide to living life right and to personal freedom. The premise is that if you live by those four simple rules (yet not simple to do)…your life will change… and more importantly, you will live your life…not someone else’s; and even more importantly, you will live it right.
It is interesting and telling that the Agreement #1 in this very special book is “Be impeccable with your Word”.
It simply says that the words you utter are important. They should always be true. Never use your words to put yourself down (this is extremely important) or to gossip about someone else; and to always mean what you say. This last is key.
I personally feel that the way things are said is of great importance. The delivery is extremely important. When what has to be said is delivered tactfully and mindfully, it usually is received in a positive manner. If not it will most likely be received defensively or it will be misinterpreted. This is always true…in business and in our personal life.
How many times have you held back what you wanted to say? I know I have many times. It is scary to speak our feelings. It puts us in a very vulnerable position and we don’t like it.
It may be fear that we will be rejected, not corresponded, or misunderstood. There’s also sometimes that underlaying mistrust that makes us feel that if we open ourselves to someone else, we will be taken advantage of or worse…taken for granted. However, I have learned that when I speak the truth, no matter what it is, everything falls in place.
I’ve experienced relationships in which neither ever spoke about feelings. Oh, every so often in a birthday card, which was hopefully pre-printed, we would convey our finer feelings to each other. But that is not the same. I think it’s a cop out of sorts. An easy way to say what you cannot really say. Well, lesson learned; which is the only thing that the past is good for in any case.
“I love you”; “You are great”; “You are sweet”; “I appreciate you”; “You are beautiful”; just three small but extremely impacting words that have the power to change everything. Once you utter those little words… you feel it beginning to change everything for you and for the recipient. It stands to reason that demeaning words… probably even more so.
I now speak my truth always. Like it or not. I never ever promise and not follow through. I don’t worry about being taken for granted because I know that they are only fooling themselves. It’s enough that I know it.
Therefore, I speak fearlessly and let the chips fall where they may, with the knowledge that somehow they will land exactly where they are supposed to. Without fail.
