This well know phrase means to mind your own business and not interfere on someone else’s life. Yes I know it’s easier said than done. I’m personally being tried about this right now. I’m talking about letting my elderly parents do as they would like.
It’s a fact that the roles between parents and children evolve and change as our parents get older. Suddenly, we find ourselves being the decision makers and or rule setters in their lives.
The thing is that my parents are blessedly of crystal clear mind. Amazing considering they are 90 and 91 years young. However, they do need help in this cyber world all the time…for virtually everything.
These two folks have gone through multiple changes in their lives. They have made very difficult choices beginning with going into exile in their late 20’s to moving to yet another country in their 40’s… all with children in tow.
So, who am I to dictate to them what they should be doing or where they should live? Or how they should live their lives?
They have been talking lately about moving to one of those retirement “like a cruise on land” communities lately. But I also know that they seem to change their minds all the time.
I initially thought it was crazy (although I wasn’t surprised) mainly because they had gone that route before…and had hated it! But then I asked myself…why not? If that is what will make them happy and entertain them even if for a bit of time…after all, at that age, six months is a lifetime. Why not? I personally think that they may be bored and want and are seeking more excitement…even if temporary…because it may be that they hate it…AGAIN.
So realizing that my mom was going on and on about this new plan on an attempt to convince me and my siblings, I said to her, “Hey listen, I’m not telling you what to do. Do whatever you want. There is nothing greater than being able to do whatever you want and to live wherever and however you please”.
It felt right to say that. After all, isn’t that the reason they left Cuba? I certainly wouldn’t want anyone dictating what I should or shouldn’t do with my life. However, I’m not certain that she believed me.
It’s true that we all want to be allowed to live our lives as we please…but it’s also true that even though it is sometimes hard and maybe inconvenient, we must be mindful to let others live theirs their way as well.
