“If I Had One More Year To Live”…

Have you ever wondered about that? I have.

How would I spend it?

My first thought is, “I think I would like to be with my family…to be with those I love the most.”

However, that is the most common answer. The kick reflex. The expected answer. So I cannot help but feel that that is the programming taking over.

Am I not supposed to want that?

But perhaps, if I’m honest with myself, I think I would like to spend it with those that make me laugh the most! Those people that bring out the child in me. Those soulmates that understand me without having to explain. Without judgment.

Sometimes that is not necessarily “the family”; even if I love them to death. At that point, there’s really no time to waste.

I would like to experience new places, and revisit old favorites… those places to which great memories are attached. Memories that bring a smile to my face.

I know that it’s important for me to find a way to leave something behind. Some kind of legacy that keeps on giving. That is one of the reasons I think I write. However, I feel that we leave our mark in so many ways.

I sit and think…Perhaps I changed someone’s life?

Did I bring joy to someone else?

Will my memory bring a smile to someone’s face when their time comes?

Have my decisions in life created a legacy for my children?

Is the way I live the life I have, in fact, a legacy for them and others?

These are important questions. We do change the world one person at a time.

A few years ago, I went with my oldest son to Carnegie Mellon University. The purpose of the trip was to see where he would be spending his next four years. Upon arriving, each student was given a book titled “The Last Lecture”.

This book was a transcription of a lecture given by Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon. He was asked to give a lecture about “… achieving your childhood dreams”. In reality, the lecture turned out to be about how to live instead. However, Mr. Pausch never imagined that this lecture would turn out to be his last.

He talked about how time is precious and unpredictable. He talked about the importance of enabling others to achieve their dreams as well. That lecture packed a punch…it was very powerful. It was like if his soul knew that this was the chance to leave his mark. He never imagined that as he was speaking about leaving a legacy… he was leaving his legacy to the world.

What would I do in that last year? A better question is…What if I’m living my last year right now?

One thing I guarantee is that I will have all the desserts I want! I think I can live on chocolate covered strawberries for the rest of my life. 😋

In many ways, I try to live like if it’s my last day every day. But I do realize that I do not completely; because if I did, I would completely throw caution to the wind in every aspect in my life. I would definitely spend every penny in the bank and hopefully change a life with it. Say the things I never said. Tell him. Tell her.

All I can do is act as if the next thing I do will become the legacy I leave behind.