“You don’t find love, it finds you. It’s got a little bit to do with destiny, fate, and what’s written in the stars.” -Anais Nin
Without Reservations…
It’s a rainy afternoon in Miami. As I look out the window I asked myself, “What am I feeling right now?” Lately, I’ve been really trying to stay with my feelings as opposed to dismissing them as I tend to do.
I’ve been reading some of the stories posted in this medium and others. Today I was reading one that was written by a man very much in love with his wife. It was an ode to her and I was able to feel how much he truly admires her. She is the center of his world. She is his beginning and his end.
So, this obviously affected my mood. I thought to myself…”WOW… I have never been loved that way”. It was followed by “I want to be loved that way by a man at least once in my life”.
As I sit here looking out, I know that I’m one of the luckiest persons in this world of ours. I have been given everything. I have never experienced hunger, homelessness, or sickness. I truly have always lived a very privileged life. I know all of this and yet I want more. Is it selfish? Maybe it is…it might be but I would love to be loved that way.
Yes, I have been loved by a man before; however, I have never felt that I’m everything to that person. I have never felt that his need to make me happy is as important as his need to take another breath. Yes I want to love that way too. I want to experience that kind of love… because I deserve to love and be loved completely and without reservations.
For once in my life.
