A Veil Over Her Eyes
We were two friends having lunch and pondering about the reasons for the choices that we, as women, make in our lives.
Traditionally, most of us choose to be in a relationship and marry early in our adult life. This is understandable since the proverbial clock is ticking and in order for the human race to continue to exist, this must happen. So it’s as if we are born with a veil over our eyes, so that we are unable to see beyond that.
Think about it…I wonder…if we were able to see it clearly, would we choose it? This is how it goes…we marry, have children, exist for others, do for others; namely husband and kids… we tend to put everything and everyone ahead of ourselves. Our careers suffer or is given up to raise children. We seldom stop to assess if we are truly fulfilled as women or as individuals. Therefore I ask…Why would anyone choose it? Right?
My friend says…“maybe we are born with cataracts…”; and I think yes!…and I just wrote the word cataracts in my notes. Sounds about right.
It could be that during this process we are suffering from a sort of “cataracts” and we don’t even realize it. This may be a good thing because if we were always able to see well, none of us would choose it…and the human race would eventually cease to exist!
However, this veil of cataracts begins to detach from our retina little by little as time goes by. As we feel we are no longer being needed in those roles of mom, caretaker and problem solver, it detaches more and more. The moment that this metaphorical veil completely falls off, we experience an awakening, a “midlife crisis”, or whatever we want to call it. It’s like a blind man that can see for the very first time.
It’s a dangerous time in a woman’s life so beware!. That is the crucial moment in a woman’s life when she realizes that it is time. Time to defy convention; time to find out who she really is; time to make herself a priority; time to live for herself instead of others. Time to be her own woman. She may even change it completely.
A woman may define herself by her family… meaning that her children, husband, and or family define who she is. It’s like she can see now but she doesn’t want to see. However, I believe that regardless of what she is willing to do, how she deals with it, or how she sees herself, the woman that suddenly sees clearly, cannot help but question herself and her choices. She begins to wonder what she has done with her life.
This inquiry is necessary in order to grow. It’s as if she has been in a cocoon and the time to morph into a butterfly has finally arrived. She then becomes a singular butterfly with colors that have been weaved by her knowledge, her altruism, and her unique experience.
As it happens with a butterfly. That metamorphosis is a beautiful and exciting thing to watch.
